Try this:
When drawing, drop your jaw some and slowly articulate the word "you" until you've exagerated the articulation of the word. This should cause you to be going through the steps.
On some harps, I have trouble getting the second one. It just wants to jump from the first to the third. I don't know if that's me or a gapping problem.
I have a different way to discribe bending. Imagine having hot coffee in a travel mug. To take a sip your lower jaw pulls BACK as you sip the coffee you feel the fluid pull up behind your upper teeth, over the bottom and the tongue is pulled down to keep from getting burnt.
Bending is the same. You can feel the air stream make an "S" as it passes threw the teeth.
What really did it for me was playing 2nd position scales and trying to build up speed and not worrying about accurate tone on the bends. As I was playing the scales I stumbled across doing it right and could adjust the tone by ear.
Hope this helps!